


Beautiful Girl (Stay With Me)

by Semperfidani



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff, Bonding over music, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Relationship, F/M, Han and Leia are amazing, High school bullying, I promise a HEA., Implied/Reference Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, Reylo - Freeform, Rose Tico is the real MVP of this fic., Soft!Ben, Soft!Rey, reylo is endgame, teenage love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 06:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/pseuds/Semperfidani
Summary: Rey is bullied in school. Ben watches and does nothing. Circumstances place them together. Can they overcome their obstacles?





	Beautiful Girl (Stay With Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quixoticlux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quixoticlux/gifts).



> For Lux.   
> We've been through a lot, but you will always be my Reylo bestie! xoxo. Love you to the moon.
> 
> A special thank you to George (@benbegginsolo on Twitter) for making the beautiful aesthetic (posted underneath my moodboard). You are so talented & I am grateful that you lent your talents for this story. 💞

__

_She’s so scared._ _So very frightened._

 _Anything can happen._ _Right here tonight._

_Beautiful girl (stay with me). ~INXS_

* * *

 

The scavenger girl quickly scurries to the corner of the cafeteria of Chandrila High School, hoping to fade away in obscurity. Her shoulder length brown hair, slightly damp from the daily shower she takes at school after gym class, is tied into three buns. The hot water combined with the shampoo and soap provided by the school was a welcome change from the cold water and dish soap she uses at the trailer of her state appointed guardian. Her ratty clothes, clearly salvaged from the the pile that even the thrift stores won’t accept, hang on her body as clothes two sizes too large are wont to do. The beige shirt has a tiny hole from a bleach stain on the side, but at least it doesn’t smell due to her skilled hand-washing abilities. Her dirty, slightly too-small and well worn beige Converse shoes, a hand-me-down from natural born kids at her former foster home, had used gum holding the rubber soles to the mud-stained base of the soles.

Rey retrieves her lunch from her brown and green camouflage threadbare knapsack that she got for a five-finger deal at the thrift store before she started her freshman year at Jakku High in her neighborhood of Jakku, the inner-city community in the city of Chandrila. She pulls out a bologna and mustard sandwich — well if you count one slice of past due bread folded up in half a “sandwich.” She also grabs the orange that is as hard as a rock that she salvaged from the hallway garbage at school when no one was looking.

She pulls out her old and well used copy of _Anne of Green Gables_ , a library book that Maz, the school librarian, marked as destroyed before discreetly gifting it to Rey. The library was a bit of a sanctuary for her — a safe space to hide from the bullies, especially the self-proclaimed First Order clique. It was safe to say that this group of the most popular students at CH, a bunch of rich elite kids & jocks, have never set foot in the library.

Naturally, nobody came to join the poor scavenger girl at her table. It was hardly surprising as she had no friends to speak of; nobody wanted to associate with the poor scholarship trash girl. She was a beneficiary of the Skywalker Benevolent Fund, aimed at giving higher educational opportunities to inner-city kids from high school through to and including college. She has no idea how she was selected, especially in her senior year, but Rey suspects her boss at Millennium Falcon Garage had something to do with this change of fortune. Han Solo was something of a father figure to her, hiring her off the street with little to no garage experience for weekend work. Rey made it a point to absorb all the information from him and his partner, Charles “Chewie” Baca. Although she was only the front desk clerk, both of them took the time to show Rey how to fix engines and other car parts.  
  
She was just about to inhale her sandwich, her nose deep in her book, when a shadow fell over the lines where Anne-with-an-e Shirley was being teased by Gilbert Blythe. Rey flashes her hazel upwards towards the shadows, trying to look brave and defiant despite the fear gnawing into the pit of her stomach.  
  
“What do you have there, scavenger scum?” sneers Armitage Hux — Hux to his friends — his fire red hair vividly contrasting against his alabaster skin. Hux grabs the book from Rey’s hand, the book tearing in the struggle.  
  
“Oi! Give it back, asshole!” Rey yells at him, her slight British accent carrying across the room. The cafeteria stills, as bodies turn to take in the drama.  
  
“Did you hear that? The squeaky mouse actually has a filthy little tongue. Mind your language, scavenger scum!” Hux proceeds to hold the book above his head as Rey stands up, trying to grab the book back. Two girls standing behind him — Gwen Phasma, a tall ice-blonde haired Caucasian girl wearing a silver sparkly dress, and Bazine Netal, a lithe black-haired olive-skinned girl with heavy kohl makeup on her eyes — break out in malicious laughter at the action taking place. “Should I give the mouse her book back?”

Rey looks to the boy standing next to him, pleading for help. Standing next to Hux is Ben Solo — Kylo to his friends — Ben to Han and Leia. He shrugs his shoulders noncommittally and appears to be very uncomfortable with this exchange, but he does not respond or react. His long wavy dark brown hair is pulled back in a half ponytail off of his face, while the rest hangs to his shoulder. His face is long, with a aquiline nose resting predominantly on his face in a way that makes him appear attractive in an awkward way that only he can pull off. Moles scatter across his face in an attractive constellation. He towers over his friends except for the blonde amazon girl, his broad shoulders and strong frame a result of the years athletic training as the star quarterback of Chandrilia High.

Seeing that she was going to get no help from the one person she marginally liked, she shook her head in disappointment before focusing on the ginger-haired jerk before her.  
  
“Give it back,” Rey pleads, her voice hitching with a plaintive plea.  
  
“What do you say?” Hux grins at her. “Use your words.”  
  
Rey looks at him, her hazel eyes welling with tears, as she swallows her pride.  
  
“Please can I have my book back?”  
  
“You mean _may_ I have my book back, you uncultured swine. Well here then!” Hux takes the book and rips it apart in various pieces before tossing the book back on her table, pieces of paper landing face down in the mustard. “Enjoy your pathetic lunch.”  
  
Hux, Phaz and Baz cackled as they walk away. Ben hesitates, looking down at her with apologetic eyes. He doesn’t say anything as tears fall freely down Rey’s cheek as she attempts to gather all the pieces of her book. She pauses in her futile attempts to whip him a fierce glare, wiping the tears that are streaming down her freckled cheeks.  
  
“You’re a monster. You’re nothing but a coward.”

Ben turns away, his face turning red with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. Her sobs mix with the laughter of his friends all the way out the cafeteria doors.

****

The next day, Rey opens her locker. A book tumbles out.  
  
Rey picks up the copy of _Anne of Green Gables_ from the floor. She opens the cover, looking for clues as to who gifted her the book. A book template is affixed to the inside cover, with a quote from the book is written in calligraphy - the finest penmanship that Rey has ever seen.

> _I don’t want diamond sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you._

She looks around. Everyone is going about their business, the scavenger girl all but unnoticed.

Her eyes connect with Ben, who is standing at his locker with his friends, his arm draped around Bazine. He stares at her from above his girlfriend's head.  
  
Rey looks away quickly.

* * *

 

Rey is hiding in the last bathroom stall nearest to the window. Her legs are curled up on the seat so nobody can see her there by looking underneath.

She had the misfortune of bumping into Bazine Netal in the hallway. It was hard to avoid the First Order when they walked down the hallway side by side as a group of four. Rey tried to sneak past unnoticed, but her shoulder barely grazed Baz, causing her to lash out.

“Watch where you’re going, bitch!”

“Sorry,” Rey stammered an apology.

“I’ll give you something to be sorry about. Meet me at the student parking lot during lunch.”

Hux and Phas laugh as they walk away. Ben remains quiet, looking down at his shoes and avoiding eye contact with Rey  as Baz wraps her arms around his waist, tugging him along like an obedient puppy.

Rey stiffens as she hears the bathroom door open, and peaks through the crack of the door. To her relief, it’s just Rose Tico, a petite asian girl and classmate, who has come to use the toilet.

Rey steadies her breath, hoping not to be noticed.

“Hey,” Rose says from her stall. “Can you pass me some toilet paper? This stall is all out.”

Rey obliges, handing a wad underneath the stall.

“Thanks!” Rose resumes her business, then leaves the stall to wash her hands.

The door to the bathroom slams open.

“Is anyone but you in here?” Phasma’s icy voice echoes off the tiled wall.

“Nope. Just me,” replies Rose.

“You better not be lying because if you are…” the sniveling voice of Bazine lashes out

“What? You’ll beat me up? Come at me bro!”

From the crack in the door, she can see Rose assuming a stance similar to a sumo wrestler. Rey ponders if Rose is either incredibly brave or decidedly crazy.  

“You better be grateful that Paige is your sister,” Phasma spits out before they turn and leave.

“You better be grateful I don’t have a shiv,” Rose yells back as the door slams shut.

Yep. Definitely crazy.

“It’s safe to come out, Rey.”

Rey reluctantly opens the door. Rose is smiling warmly.

“Thanks,” Rey mumbles as she picks at the sleeve of her ratty grey sweater.

“No problem sister. I’ve got your back!” Rose pauses to look at her watch. “Hey, we still have 45 minutes left for lunch. Come sit with me! I’m Rose by the way. We have home economics and shop class together.”

Rey follows Rose out, carefully looking around to see that the coast is clear.

Rose doesn’t stop talking and links arms with Rey as they walk into the cafeteria.

Rey has her first real friend.

****

Later that day, Rey finds herself stuffed into her locker clinging to her torn knapsack, her school books scattered everywhere.

People pass her, laughing at her predicament, which makes Rey cry harder.

Ben passes by her locker, wearing a soft black leather jacket, shades, and a back beanie. He pauses by her locker and looks around him before offering his hand to help her out.

“Just leave me alone,” yells Rey, leveling him a tear-filled glare between sobs, using her sleeve as a rag. “Haven’t your kind done enough? Or in your specific case, nothing at all?”

Ben reels back in embarrassment, as a flash of guilt crosses his face. He turns and leaves.

***

The next day, Rey opens her locker to see a new grey Converse backpack. She opens it and finds a used copy of _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton tucked inside. There is a butterfly bookmark tucked into a page, and Rey opens it to find a passage from Ponyboy highlighted in bright neon yellow.

> _I was getting to where I could see the truth. Someday I’ll be brave enough to speak it._

* * *

 

It was a warm fall day, and a few weeks had passed since Rey was settled into the Organa-Solo estate. She sat on the screened veranda in a large red Adirondack chair next to Ben, her teal Chucks tapping the air to the beat of the Depeche Mode song next to his navy blue ones. Each of them read a book in comfortable silence, with Ben occasionally interrupting to make a comment about a song.

When Ben found out about her limited exposure to music growing up, he declared himself a teacher of good music and proceeded to educate Rey in the ways of new wave and synth rock. They had spent the last week working through the entire canon of INXS, New Order, Joy Division and The Smiths. Today was Depeche Mode day and Ben played the _Violator_ on repeat loop.

Although they didn’t acknowledge each other at school, at least here they could just be themselves without any expectations.

> _All I ever wanted. All I ever needed. Is here in my arms. Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm._

She could never have pictured herself going from subsisting in a shanty trailer/drug den in Jakku to living in a beautiful mansion in Hosnia, the richest community in Chandrila. But nothing about this year was usual.

Rey thought about the day when she showed up to work, crying and visibly shaking with nowhere to go. Her guardian, Unkar Plutt, tore Rey’s room apart and found the secret shoe box where Rey kept whatever was left over after paying room and board each month (up and above what the State provided in funding.) He took the money to purchase drugs from Teedo, the local drug pin and pimp. When the amount wasn’t enough, Unkar tried to sell Rey. She barely escaped with only the clothes on her back.  
  
Han immediately took her to Leia’s care at home, before he and Chewie left to “settle the score.” Rey never found out what happened, but she was assured that Unkar and Teedo would never bother her again. When Leia saw the state of her clothing and the bruises on Rey’s arms where Unkar had grabbed her, she made a few select calls to her contacts. An emergency injunction granted Leia temporary custody.

Rey was set up with a large bedroom and her own en suite bathroom, across from Ben’s room in the west wing of the house. At the end of the hallway was a glass door that led to the pool and large acreage. Rey had never seen so much green in her life.

At first, Rey and Ben barely spoke to each other. Rey, still smarting from his silence over her bullying experiences, was just as happy to ignore him as much as possible.

Her first night there, she completely ignored him, refusing to make eye contact. His fumbled attempts at conversation were met with icy silence.

The next morning, he knocked on her bedroom door. She opened it, her grey t-shirt and cotton shorts that Leia lent her clinging to her frame. Ben visibly gulped, seemingly at a loss for words.

Rey yawned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “What do you want?”

“You…” stammered Ben as he visibly gulped, his ears flushing red. “I mean, I’m supposed to tell you that breakfast is ready.”

Rey’s face lit up with excitement. “You mean, like real actual breakfast food?”

“Of course it’s real food. What else would it be?”

“Not everyone is lucky to be fed at breakfast, you know.”

Ben at least had the grace to look contrite before she slammed the door on his entitled face.

She heard him hovering outside the door. Rey grabbed the retro teal halter style summer dress that had once belonged to Padmé, Leia’s mother; they apparently shared a similar body shape and size. Rey grabbed a clean pair of Hanes brand underwear that Leia picked up in an emergency shop the night before, along with some basic toiletries. They were going to go shopping for some proper clothes after breakfast, but Rey hoped she was able to borrow more of Padmé’s clothing in the future.  
  
She stood in front of the mirror, admiring the way the dress clung to her curves but flared at all the right places. She had never felt so fancy or beautiful in her entire life, and twirled around excitedly. She didn’t have an elastic band to tie her hair up, so left it down, the soft wavy curls tumbling down and framing her face. The chapstick Leia purchased added a soft glow to her lips.

She slipped on her ratty old shoes and opened the door. Ben stood outside, awkwardly, as if he was waiting for her. He seemed taken aback with her change of appearance.  
  
“Th--those are really disgusting shoes,” Ben stammered clumsily.  
  
“Eat shit, nerfherder.” Rey angrily stomped away, her shoes squeaking on the hardwood as if in silent agreement.

“Rey…” Ben yells out, but she flips him the bird and marches to the kitchen.  
  
Leia and Han exchange a knowing look between them, having overheard the hallway exchange, but were wise enough to say nothing.

Rey pretends that Ben isn’t there, ignoring his request to pass the raspberry jam, and Ben opens and shuts his mouth at least five times, as if to want to say something but then changes his mind.

Ben asks to borrow his dad’s car, a black 1977 Pontiac Firebird. Rey rolls her eyes when the wheels screech out of the garage as she is settling herself in Leia’s white Audi.

****

The next morning, there is a knock on her bedroom door. Rey tries to ignore it, grabbing the comforter and covering her head, but Ben is persistent.  
  
“Rey. Open the door.” He pauses and knocks again. “Please.”

She stomps out of bed, not even bothering to put a robe over her pink cami-top and leggings. She swings the door open.  
  
“What do you want?”  
  
He tries hard not to look at her body. It was a failed but earnest attempt. His traitorous ears burn a bright red.  
  
“Here,” he thrusts a box at her, before tucking his hands into his jeans and looking at the floor.  
  
“What is this?”

“Rey,” he sighs, as if exasperated. “Just open the box.”  
  
She quickly opens the box to find a pair of teal Converse shoes. Her lips part as she looks up at him in surprise. He looks as if he actually cares.  
  
She doesn’t want to call this gift an apology. It’ll take more than shoes and a pair of pretty eyes for all the grief she has endured at school. To quote Hux, Ben will have to “use your words.”  
  
But perhaps it’s a truce. Perhaps a truce is all she can reasonably expect, given their circumstances.  
  
She isn’t sure what to do next. Does she take the gift and shut the door? Does she hug him? _Kiss him?_  
  
“Thanks,” she mumbles and awkwardly holds her hand out in a hand shake formation.  
  
Ben looks down at her hand, almost as if unsure what to do himself. He reaches his big hand forward. Tentatively. They both inhale as their hand touches, before he almost entirely envelops her tiny hand, and they pump them up and down like awkward morons.  
  
At breakfast, Rey passes him the jam. They chat about minor things. He is appalled to find out out she has never heard of the band INXS. They excitedly make plans to meet on the veranda after breakfast for an “education.”

Han and Leia share a small smile across the table, unnoticed by the two teenagers eagerly chatting about which album to listen that Rey must listen to first to fully appreciate the musical genius of Michael Hutchence.

Within a week, Han and Leia were appointed her legal guardians.

For the first time in her life, Rey had a stable, loving, and supportive home.

And maybe Ben wasn’t all that bad either.

* * *

 

Rey has settled somewhat into the rhythm of school life. She is still unpopular, albeit better dressed, but at least she has some friends that she can be unpopular with. Finn Nest-Calrissian from her Chemistry class was one of her closest pals. He was also Rose’s “friend boy.” He wasn’t her boyfriend yet, but Rose was working hard to make it so.

He was a quiet, book smart nerd, with funky haircuts that were representative of his African-American identity. He was also an orphan like herself. He was lucky to have been adopted by Lando and Enfys Nest-Calrissian. She met them at the garage one weekend when Lando was having car problems. She recognized Finn and when they got to chatting, realized they had more in common than they did differences. They became the bestest of friends after that weekend and enjoyed blowing stuff up in class, much to the chagrin of Professor Ackbar.

“We’ll figure it out,” Finn says to Rey, sweat pouring from his short black hair onto his safety goggles, as they try a chemical experiment in Professor Ackbar’s class. “We just need to add some of this to the illenium metal and that should create a force.”  
  
Rey consults her notes. “No. No. If we do that, we’ll flood this classroom with poisonous gas! I think we need to add this and it should motivate the metal to react.”  
  
Rey begins to measure the liquid to the precise amount in her notes.  
  
“Okay. Stay calm. Stay calm,” Finn gulps.  
  
“I am calm,” replies Rey.

“I was talking to myself.”  
  
Rey beings to pour the chemical. There was no reaction. “Darn. I thought we fixed this problem.” Rey sits on the stool, biting her lips in frustration.

Finn looked at his notes. “Can we un-fix it?”

Hux wanders by, looking at their project. “You forgot to add the stabilizing agent.”  
  
Rey looks up from her text book and glares. ”Eat shit, Hugs!”

Hux holds up his hand as if to say back off. “Well if you losers want to stay here all day trying to figure this out, be my guest. But Ackbar said we could leave when we’re done.” He motions to Professor Ackbar, who is reading scientific articles on the microfiche machine, completely ignoring the class. “I’m out of here. See you later, loser. You too, Scavenger scum!”

Rey flips him the bird as he saunters away.

“Maybe we should add a stabilizing agent,” Finn suggests.

“I don’t know if I trust his advice.”

“But I really want to see Rose for...ummm...reasons…” Rey rolls her eyes at him. “And we aren’t getting any closer to a solution.”

Finn turned to her with a pout and Rey relented. Since that day in the bathroom, Rey became super close to Rose. The three of them were thick as thieves, and she wanted nothing more than their happiness.

Finn carefully poured the revised solution and lit the flame. The metal began to melt.

“Did you see that! That was amazing,” Finn pumped his fist with joy. They did a happy dance, until the smell of burning stopped them mid-dance. They looked over, and one of Finn’s textbooks caught on fire from the open flame.

“Oh no...oh no...no! This can’t be good. Water! Is there water? We need water!” Finn yelled out.

Rey grabbed the other end of the book and ran to the sink, but it was full of tubes, many still filled with chemical residue.

“The garbage can will have to do!” Rey tosses into the bin, as the flames shoot higher. The school smoke alarm goes off.

“What’s going on here?” Professor Ackbar yells from the front in a booming voice. Quickly assessing the situation he asks everyone to leave as he grabs the extinguisher.

The students quickly leave the classroom. Finn grabs Rey’s hand and they run out of the class.

They bump into Poe and Kaydel. “We need to get out quickly. Follow my lead,” Poe yells. They follow him. Any resemblance of order is gone as the students pour out of the school. Rey can’t help but inappropriately giggle as Finn drags her to the soccer pitch. Finn smiles as if this is the best adventure of his life.

They assemble at the muster point on the field when Rey spots Ben, leaning against the post. He seems to be frantically searching for someone, his tall frame giving him an advantage. Rey figures he is looking for Bazine, but thinks she should probably check in herself.

Rey grabs Finn’s hand. “Come on. I better go say something to Ben.”

“Do we have to?” Finn stiffens.

“Look, I know you had a falling out with them in your junior year. But I live with the guy, so I should probably let him know that I’m okay. Then we’ll go find Rose.”

Ben spots Rey and his shoulder sags in visible relief, his face breaking into a small smile. He leans up, as if to move towards her, then stops suddenly. He looks down at her and Finn holding hand. His expression falls into an angry frown, and his body tenses again.

Rey notices, and she instinctively knows what Ben is thinking. “Finn,” she whispers, “let go of my hand.”

Finn drops her hand as they get closer to Ben.

“Hey Ben!” She smiles, trying to make eye contact, but his mouth firms in a determined line as his eye twitches involuntarily.

“Traitor!” He whips out. Rey isn’t sure who he is directing it at — Finn or herself.

“Ben! What the heck?”

He turns to glare at her, then spins around and walks away quickly.

She runs after him as grabs his arm. He looks down at her as she glares at him back.

“What the heck is your problem?” She pokes her finger into his chest to accentuate every word.

He grabs her wrist to pull it away. “I don’t know, Rey. Why don’t you go ask your _boyfriend.”_

He drops her arm and storms off, leaving her in the middle of the field with a bewildered look on her face. After a second, she angrily follows him across the field to the parking lot.

She is just approaching the edge of the lot when she spots him approach Bazine from behind. He spins her around and kisses her in a steamy embrace.

Rey backs away slowly. _She feels inexplicably betrayed._

Ben pulls from the embrace and looks up. Their eyes meet meet, both sets clouded with anger.

She turns and runs away, not stopping until she met up with Finn and Rose.

Finn looks at her, confused. “What was that about?”

“Family things.” Rey conceals, partially because she herself is confused at what just happened.

“Guys,” Rose interjects. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Professor Ackbar is headed this way.”

“Kriff!”

****

Later that night, Ben and Rey say nothing to each at the dinner table. Leia and Han notice and try to fill the silence with conversation, but only receive basic replies from them in return.

As soon as Ben is finished, he excuses himself and heads to his bedroom. Rey swiftly excuses herself and follows him, not even waiting for a reply from Han or Leia.

He stomps down the hallway. Not to be outdone, Rey makes a point to stomp loudly as well.

He pauses to look at her from the entrance of his bedroom. “What do you want?”

“What the heck is your problem today?”

“I don’t have a problem.” He steps inside his bedroom and slams the door.

“Yes you do, asshole!” Rey yells, before entering her room and slamming the door equally as hard. She stays by the door as her body slides to the floor, pressing her ear against the frame.

She hears his door open click open and footsteps shuffle across the floor. He pauses just outside of her room. She anticipates a knock, but silence continues to fill the air, the only sound being the rush of their breaths.

“Ben?” She says quietly.

“Yah.” He responds, his voice slightly muffled by the door frame. She cracks hers open just a bit, and stares up at him.

He runs his hand through his hair as he stares at her nervously.

“Finn is just a friend, you know.”

He doesn’t say anything back, but he looks remorseful. “Do you want to come over to my room and listen to music?”

It’s unspoken that tonight, the lesson is how to use music as an apology when you don’t have the words.

She silently nods and she crosses the floor to his bedroom. She crawls on the top of the black and red comforter. She stares at the posters of _Star Wars_ on the wall. He has a big Darth Vader poster tacked onto his door. His mahogany bookshelf of full of _Star Wars_ novels and comic books. He has a well-worn Ewok stuffie on his desk that is missing an eye & part of its’ ear. For all his popularity, Ben Solo is a secret space geek.

He carefully chooses the album, as if the song choice was crucial.

He lays next to her, and they stare at the ceiling silently cause careful not to touch each other as Pet Shop Boys plays in the background.

> _Maybe I didn’t treat you, quite as good as I should. Maybe I didn’t love you, quite as often as I could. Little things I should have said and done, I never took the time. You were always on my mind. You were always on my mind._

“I’m sorry, Rey.” He whispers to the dark.

She doesn’t say anything at first. The song lyrics didn’t seem so much like words of atonement, but rather some other emotion that neither wanted to convey out loud to each other.

She fully realizes that at some point over the last few weeks, Ben Solo has come to occupy a place in her heart. Her heart beats a bit harder and her stomach feels like butterflies have taken up refuge.

She is certain that Ben doesn’t feel the same way — that at most he pities her or maybe genuinely enjoys their secret friendship. Besides, he has a girlfriend. Rey is in agony.

He lifts his arm from the side, and places it across the pillow, above her head. She tentatively moves slightly over, and rests her head into the crook of his arm, her ear pressed against his heart that is beating as rapidly as hers.

> _Maybe I didn’t hold you, all those lonely, lonely times. And I guess I never told you, I’m so happy that your mine. If I made you feel second best, I’m so sorry I was blind. You were always on my mind. You were always my mind._

He wraps his arm around her and they lay like that for the rest of the song.

> _Tell me — tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died. Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. Satisfied._

After the song ends, Rey mumbles into his chest, “I’ve never seen Star Wars.”

Ben lifts himself of his elbow to stare incredulously at her. He reaches for the remote on the side of his bed, and turns the TV on before selecting the Netflix option on his Playstation. For the second time that year, Ben takes it upon himself to volunteer as a teacher.

She rests her head into the crook of his arm and they stay that way for the rest of the night, binging on the original trilogy until the wee hours of the morning. Rey tiptoes back to her bed.

Neither she nor Ben wake up for Saturday breakfast. Han and Leia smile at each other as they observe the two empty plates, and then resume their usual bickering.

* * *

 

As the weeks flew by, it became clear that Ben was just a generally sullen and shy boy, who often butted heads with his father over pretty much anything and everything.

Dinner time arguments between the two were not uncommon, much to Leia’s chagrin. Rey, ever eager to make sure they had a reason to keep her, always remained silent, observing the power dynamics between father and son. Han wanted Ben to follow in his footsteps as a successful business owner. Ben wanted to pursue a career in football as was advised by his coach, Professor Snoke.

One evening, an argument escalated to a full-blown shouting match, and Ben stormed out. Sensing Leia’s distress and wanting to bring peace and balance back into the household, Rey excused herself and followed Ben down to the stables.

At the end of the driveway were the horses stables. Rey was given free reign to use BB, the brown and white pinto horse, with lessons from Artoo, the stable hand. Next to BB was Silencer, the black stallion that Ben used exclusively.

Ben didn’t say anything to Rey as she entered the stables. He quickly saddled Silencer, efficiently adjusting the straps. Rey tried to lift her saddle onto BB but struggled under the weight of the heavy saddle. She didn’t notice Ben had approached to help until his large arms were around her. She was immediately enveloped into his warm frame, the smell of his aftershave reminding her of the smell of a pine forest. She inhaled sharply and shivered as their hands touched as he lifted the saddle onto BB, as if shocked by static electricity. If Rey was honest with herself ( _which she didn’t want to be),_ she would have admitted that perhaps her heart beat a bit harder than normal.  
  
Once saddled, Ben made a few clicks with his tongue and they were off, trotting across the wide acreage, Silencer in the lead and BB in hot pursuit. Rey enjoyed the breeze flapping through her hair, and for the first time in her life, felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders. She felt freer than she ever had.

Ben slowed the horse down by the pond in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by a rainbow of wildflowers. BB slowed to a trot before Ben reached out and grabbed his reigns. He slid off the horse before reaching up for Rey to do the same. She slid down, firm in his embrace, and for a moment they stood there, staring at each other.  
  
BB nudged them over with her head as she went to lap up some water, breaking the mood.  
  
Ben grabs Rey’s hand and led her to patch of grass, laying down and inviting her to do the same. The sun’s golden rays stretched over the sky, slowly sinking into it’s sleepy slumber for another night, chased out by the moon.

He pulls out his iPod and passes her one half of the ear buds. He presses shuffle, and then grabbed her hand again. They laid there silently holding hands and stared at the sky, neither saying a word at first as they listened to INXS.

> _Don't ask me. What you know is true. Don't have to tell you. I love your precious heart. I. I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided. And they could never tear us apart._
> 
> _We could live. For a thousand years. But if I hurt you. I'd make wine from your tears. I told you. That we could fly. 'Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why._

“I’m sorry,” Ben whispered, turning his head to stare at her.

“For what?” She turns her head to stare back at him.

“The cafeteria. The constant fighting with dad. Being a coward. Everything.”

Rey turns to look at the sky. The darkness had taken over, and the stars emerged, millions of little pinpoints twinkling in their bright constellations.

“Why do you hate your father?”  
  
Ben was silent, as if ruminating on his thoughts.  
  
“I don’t. I don’t hate my father. I just wish he saw the potential in me that Coach Snoke does. I wish he would just accept me for who I am.”  
  
“And who are you, Ben? Do you even know? Do you even care?” Her voice raises after each question. “Are you the guy that is so selfish to not see your mother’s distress when you and your dad are battling it out over every mundane thing? Are you the guy who is so ungrateful because your father asks a few challenging questions, not even remotely aware that there is someone sitting across from you who would have given their left arm for a father give half as much a shit as Han does about your life?”  
  
“It’s not that easy. He’s not the father you think he is. If you were raised in my home, he would have disappointed you too.”  He pauses. “I have pressures you don’t even begin to understand. I have a long family legacy to uphold.”  
  
“That’s a load of bantha fodder!” She snorts and rolls her eyes. “You know what your problem is Ben? You are the guy who so wants to be accepted by his so-called-friends that you will just stand there and watch an innocent person get bullied and tormented. Your whole identity is what others have defined for you and tell you who you are, like Coach Snoke or Hux or Bazine. You are the guy who can’t even own his own identity at school. So who are you? Kylo Ren? Or Ben Solo?”

He stands and glares at her in anger as she scrambles up herself.

“That’s easy to say, coming from a nobody. You have no place in my family or at Chandrila High. You are just a scavenger. You’re nothing. You’re a nobody…”

Rey recoils from the stinging rebuke and staggers back. Ben is immediately horrified at his own callousness and reaches out to her desperately, trying to grab her hand to stop her from leaving.

“Rey....I’m sorry…you are somebody. You are somebody to me.” He looks at her with desperation in his eyes, trying to salvage the situation.

“You’re nothing but a monster!”

“Yes I am.”

“And you are a coward. A child wearing a mask. Well screw you _Kylo Ren!_ " She spits out angrily before spinning her back on him, and marches towards BB.  
  
Rey tries to load herself on the saddle, slipping back a few times. Ben comes up behind her. She stiffens, expecting him to encircle her again.  
  
“I’m sorry Rey. I’m just...I’m just…” he pauses, as if struggling to say the words.

She looks at him through tears. “You’re just what?”

“I’m alone, Rey. I have everything but nothing. I feel so alone all the time.” He turns to look away off to the distance.  
  
The look of determination on Rey’s face falters, softening into one of compassion. She of all people understands loneliness.  
  
“You are not alone, Ben. Don’t you get that? You were never alone.” She rests her hand on his forearm.  
  
He turns to look at her arm on him, before raising his eyes to her. He pulls her into a hug, her head resting on his shoulders.  
  
“Neither are you.”

She pulls back a bit and stares at him. The tension changes from one of anger to something else entirely.

As if by some magnetic force, his head lowers and she lifts hers up. Their lips connect softly and gently. Her lips open a bit on surprise, as a gentle sigh escapes. He pulls her head forward for another kiss, this time slipping his lip ever so gently over her bottom lip in a caress.

Rey clings to him for a moment, their foreheads touched as their eyes close, their breaths huffing in delicate little pants.

She pulls away. “But Bazine,” she whispers.

He looks to the ground. There was nothing left to say.

Everything but nothing changed.

Tomorrow she would be Rey, the unpopular scavenger mouse — albeit with designer clothes now — tormented by his friends.

He would be Kylo Ren, the most popular kid in school, star quarterback, and head of the First Order clique that Rey loathed with all her being.

He lifted her onto BB. Neither said anything as the horses cantered back home.

* * *

 

Poe Dameron was the school president, a natural athlete who was all very popular in school, with good looks and natural charm. He rejected everything the First Order clique stood for. He didn’t ascribe to the bullying tactics and formed a resistance group of sorts. Poe and his boyfriend Kaz, Snap, Kaydel, Jessica and her college girlfriend Paige didn’t necessarily hang out with them all the time. But Paige was Rose’s sister, a popular alumnae and past-president, so by default of association, Poe took it upon himself to become something of an protector role. This ensured that Rey, Rose, and Finn could spend the rest of the year without fear of being bullied.  
  
Poe had this brilliant idea that they should host a _Star Wars_ themed school dance and all go as _Star Wars_ characters for the dance. “It will be so awesome guys, trust me.”

Thus Rey found herself at the school dance dressed in the jumpsuit costume of Padmé from the prequel trilogies of _Star Wars_ that Rose has sewn for her. The white jumpsuit clung to her body, secured by an old utility built that she “permanently borrowed” from Han and spray-painted white. She had duct taped a band around her bicep that she spray-painted a shiny silver. Kaydel styled her hair in a series of intricate buns and Jessica carefully applied her make-up to look “natural but sexy.”  

Poe had wolf-whistled when he saw her. Even Finn did a double take. “Whoa Peanut! Looking fine!”

Rey sits on the bleachers along the wall like the shy wallflower that she is, sipping her punch. Everyone was busting a move on the dance floor to the Star Wars dub-step theme song. Finn danced awkwardly in his stormtrooper uniform, while Rose was flailing clumsily while wearing yellow overalls, like a hanger mechanic. Poe was grinding with Kaz, both wearing matching orange flight uniforms.

The lights dim and the DJ pauses to announce the next song. “This is for all the star-crossed lovers out there.” The beginning notes of _Across the Stars_ stream across the gymnasium

A tall boy approaches her wearing a Darth Vader costume, complete with an authentic voice modulated mask. She looked up inquisitively.

“Do you want to dance?” It was a deep and familiar voice, asked in earnest.

Rey looks bashfully at the ground before looking up with a deep blush. This was the first time ever that someone asked her to dance. “Sure, why not?”  
  
Darth Vader grabs her hand and leads her out to the dance floor as the DJ switches the music over to a retro 80's set.

> _All through the night. I'll be awake and I'll be with you. All through the night. This precious time when time is new._

He turns her into his embrace, the familiar scent of pine assaulting Rey’s senses as she swayed back and forth, tightly held in the strong arms of her dance partner. Although she was considered tall for a girl, she has to tilt her head up to look at him. She could tell, just by the feel of his body and the tension of the force that envelops them, that this person she was dancing with was Ben.

> _Oh, all through the night today. Knowing that we feel the same without saying._

He pulls her closer to his body, and she leans in instinctively. She could feel the outline of his thighs as they brush against hers. His gloved hand rests on her waist in a barely there brush while the other held her other hand. Rey rests her hand on his shoulder just above his heart.

> _We have no past, we won't reach back. Keep with me forward all through the night._

She could feel the rapid beating underneath, a pace matching her own.

“Who are you?” Rey whispers.

“You don’t know? You can’t tell?”

“Ben.”

> _And once we start the meter clicks. And it goes running all through the night._

He lifts his helmet off, the waves of his thick brown hair gently bouncing in reaction. He looks at her with a mix of smoulder and insecurity. He pulls her closer to his body, and she willingly steps forward. They continue to sway back and forth.

> _Until it ends, there is no end._

“From the moment I met you, all those months ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm close to you again, I'm in agony,” Ben whispers into her ear.

“Ben…”

“The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over. My mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe.”

“Ben…”

“I’m haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me.”

“Ben…”

They have all but stopped dancing and are staring at each other.

He rushes his words out. “What can I do? I will do anything you ask..”

“Ben...shut up and kiss me already.”

He lowers his head and they meet in a tender but passionate embrace. He slips his lips over hers and she parts her mouth to deepen the kiss. He pulls her to him and she tightened her hold on his broad shoulders.

She pulls back abruptly.

“Bazine?” She looks at him, insecurity flashing across her flushed face.

“I broke up with her after that night in the meadow. There is only you. There has only ever been you since you entered my life.” He presses his forehead with hers. “I love you Rey.”

“I love you Ben,” she replies, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again, a large smile on her face.

Cheers broke out around them, and they break apart laughing as they remember that they are at a school dance in front of their friends.

Poe slaps his arms around Ben while Rose and Kaydel immediately circle Rey in a group hug, laughing and chatting excitedly.

She looks up to see Finn threatening bodily harm of he hurts “our Peanut.”

“Back off Finn,” Rose swiftly intervenes, taking her wingwoman status seriously. She grabs Finn and plants a kiss on his lips. Finn is awestruck, and Rose drags him to the dance floor.

Rey grabs Ben’s hand to follow. From seemingly out of nowhere, Hux and Phasma step in front of their path, flanked by an angry Bazine. Hux is dressed as a First Order General; Phasma a silver stormtrooper; and Bazine as a space escort.

Rey tenses, and Ben squeezes her hand in reassurance.

“So it appears that you are with the Scavenger mouse now. She must be putting out or some —“

Hux didn’t get a chance to finish, before Ben grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. Hux’s face turns bright red.

“Careful Hux. That’s my girl you are talking about. She is worth a thousand of you.” Ben goes to raise his fist.

“Ben,” Rey rests her hand on his arm, looking up at him. “He’s not worth it.”

“She’s right. You’re not. You never were.” Ben drops him. “Stay away from me. Stay away from her. If I catch you even looking at her the wrong way, I won’t be as forgiving next time.”

Phasma rushes to attend to Hux, her face in shock. Bazine glares from her spot. She opens her mouth to say something but is cut-off by Ben.

“That goes for all of you. Leave her alone or I will used every single one of my connection I have through my mother to make sure you all are expelled for bullying. How will that look on your college application?”

Bazine immediately shuts her mouth, and levels one last glare before storming off.

Ben drapes his hand around her shoulders, and they head out to join their friends on the floor. High-fives are shared all around and they break out in geeky dance moves.

Ben and Rey finally feel like they belong.

* * *

  
“No no no! This one goes there, that one goes there,” Han admonishes Chewie over the perfect steak arrangements on the grill. Chewie mumbles a few choice words back.

Rey looked up from the lounge chair next to Rose, smiling, as Leia gets up from her lounge chair mumbling something about _nerf herders_ before walking over to supervise the situation.

It’s Rey’s eighteenth birthday. Rey wanted just a nice and casual gathering with the people most important to her. Leia offered to host a pool party.

Ben, Poe, Finn, and the others are playing Marco Polo in the pool. Rey openly stares at her boyfriend in his black speedo.

“Thirsty?” Rose hands her a water bottle with a knowing smirk, her red and black polka dot bikini accenting her tan skin.

“Ha Ha. But yah, you could say that I’m a bit parched.” Rey pressed the cool bottle to her forehead as she lounged in a yellow retro-style bikini.

“So is tonight the night?”

Rey nods.

“Well that’s good, because my gift would so-o-o awkward if you weren’t popping your cherry tonight.”

“Rose!” Rey looks around embarrassed. Thankfully nobody is paying attention.

“What?! Don’t worry though. I left it on your bed. It’s a Star Wars nightie I got from Etsy. It’s super cute!”

Rey looks at Ben in the pool. Their eyes meet and he flashes her a smile and wave.

She waves back. “I’m nervous Rose. What if I’m not good enough?”

“Rey. He loves you so much. We all do. You don’t need to keep proving yourself. You are enough, just as you are.”

Rey reaches over to hug Rose. She backs off suddenly as water droplets sprinkle over them. Ben and Finn are splashing then in from the pool.

“You want a war? You’ve got a war! Cannonball!” Rose launches herself into the pool.

Rey enters from the ladder, and Ben swims up to her, wrapping her up in his arms. “I’ve got you babe.”

She turns and they exchange a quick kiss.

“Are you sure about tonight?” He asks, his gaze heated.

“I’m so sure.” Rey kisses him again. “I’ve got the keys of your grandparents cabin from Leia, and our suitcases are packed. As soon as we are done here, we can head out.”

They gave each other one more kiss before Han called out that dinner was ready.

Since that night in the meadow, Ben made an extra effort to improve his relationship with his parents. As it turned out, Ben was actually more passionate about pursuing a career as a professor and writer. His parents fully supported his dream. He left the football team to join the school newspaper. Ben and Rey enrolled in the same university.

Han stood up to give a speech. “Before we begin, I just want wish Rey a very happy birthday. Even though we are no longer technically your guardian, something tells me that you will be a part of this family for a long time to come,” he said with a wink.

“Dad!” Ben’s ears turn bright red as everyone laughs.

“Hey, you are a chip off the old block. The Solo charm won over your mother.”

“Hogwash. Lando was busy so I settled for you as my prom date.” Leia yells back.

“Whatever you say, Your Worshipfulness. Anyways, we are proud of you both. Just know that whatever adventures you have ahead of you, we have your back. Most importantly, you’ll always be welcome home.”

Rey wipes her tears as she looks around at everyone. Han and Leia are her foundations. Chewie, her protector. Rose and Finn, her bosom friends. Poe, Kaydel and everyone else, her tribe.

She looks at Ben, and he smiles back, reaching out to hold her hand. Ben, her true love.

She thought about the end quote in _Anne of Green Gables._

> _The joy of sincere work and worthy aspiration and congenial friendship were to be hers; nothing could rob her of her birthright of fancy or her ideal world of dreams._
> 
> _And there was always the bend in the road!_
> 
> _"God's in his heaven, all's right with the world.”_

Indeed _._


End file.
